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A dad's perspective

Hey dad, yeah you, the one who is being forced by your kid's mom to read this.

So your kid has been diagnosed with a disability.

So what.

Does that make you love them less? Are they not the very same kid you cherished and would do anything for BEFORE they got a diagnosis?

Do you feel ashamed or that somehow this is your fault?

Do you feel helpless, like you couldn't protect them from it?

Yeah me too. I felt that way.

But I got over it.

Because once I accepted it, I actually felt relief. I wasn't a bad dad.

Then I realized it wasn't about me at all.

It was about my kid and my family.

It was about my kid and HIS future and the future of HIS family. It was about what is HE going to be like when HE becomes a man, a father.

For you it might be a daugher. Same things apply. Nothing is different.

Let's be frank and honsest here. Man to man. No touchy feely stuff, just straight foward talk.

Its time for you to be fully engaged. No, I mean fully engaged in you kid's education.

Not just aware of it, or "know" about it, or being briefed about it by your wife. Its time for you to become fully engaged in your role as father.

This means learning about your kid's disability, and how you can help them cope with it. Learning strategies that work for your kid and family.

Understanding the challenges your kid faces daily.

This means talking to the doctors, the therapists, the teachers, and all those involved in your kid's success.

You're gonna have to do some research, practice strategies, work on your patience and temper, you're gonna have to do some changing as a person and, change the way you parent.

That means taking time off of work to attend the meetings going on at the school about your kid. Making time to check on your kid's homework, science project, reading, writing, math, social interactions, and maybe even volunteer to chaperone a field trip or class party.

Darn right its hard. Its work. Its taxing at times. Get over it. You're a dad, its what we do.

Not only does your kid need you, your strength, courage, wisdom, direction and love; your wife needs you too. She is in this with you. Your partner, your mate, your friend.

Your kids are not her responsibility alone.

Don't let either of them down just because your pride may be a little hurt. And don't you dare feel ashamed of your kid because they have a disability. EVER.

You're better than that. Your kid deserves better than that.

The true measure of a man's success is not built around his belongings, his job, his car, boat, accomplishments, etc.

The truest measurement of a man's success is how well his kids turned out.

Now go be successful.

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